While I was watching O Brother, Where Art Thou? for the umpteenth time (what can I say, it’s a great movie), I couldn’t help but notice some resemblance between the campaigns of the movie and the campaigns of the 2008 Democratic primaries. In the movie, we have incumbent Governor Menelaus ‘Pappy’ O’Daniel (Charles Durning) against Gubernatorial Candidate Homer Stokes (Wayne Duvall), with Pappy being the hardline conservative and Stokes being the “sweep the state clean” progressive liberal.
In addition, we’ve got the three main characters, Ulysses Everett McGill (George Clooney), Pete (John Turturro), and Delmar O’Donnel (Tim Blake Nelson) as prison escapees, con artists, and adventurers, trying to outrun the devil, make some money, and seek a non-existent treasure.
In the midst of all this, we have some mighty fine quotes, which I’d like to place here, except I’ll be striking out names and placing modern political names instead to show you the similarities.
Ulysses Everett McGillBarack Obama: “Well, all right. If we take off through that bayou…”
PeteHillary Clinton: “Wait a minute. Who elected you leader of this outfit?”
EverettBarack Obama: “Well,PeteHillary, I figured it should be the one with the capacity for abstract thought. But if that ain’t the concensus view, then hell, let’s put it to a vote.”
PeteHillary Clinton: “Suits me! I’m votin’ for yours truly.”
EverettBarack Obama: “Well, I’m votin’ for yours truly, too.”
DelmarJohn Edwards: “Okay, I’m with you fellas.”
LawmanWolf Blitzer: “All right, boys.”
EverettJohn Edwards: “Uhh, how’s my hair?”
PeteMitt Romney: “Well I’ll be a sonofabitch.Delmar’sHuckabee’s been saved.”
DelmarMike Huckabee: “Well that’s it, boys. I’ve been redeemed. The preacher’s done warshed away all my sins and transgressions. It’s the straight and narrow from here on out, and heaven everlasting’s my reward.”
EverettJohn McCain: “Delmar, what are you talking about? We’ve got bigger fish to fry.”
DelmarMike Huckabee: “The preacher said all my sins is warshed away, including thatPiggly Wiggly I knocked over in Yazoofelon’s sentence I commuted for donations.”
EverettJohn McCain: “I thought you said you was innocent of those charges?”
DelmarMike Huckabee: “Well I was lyin’. And the preacher said that that sin’s been warshed away too. Neither God nor man’s got nothin’ on me now. C’mon in boys, the water is fine.”
Junior O’Daniel (Del Pentecost)Bill Clinton: “Well, ain’t you gonna press the flesh,PappyHillary? Do a little politickin’?”
Pappy O’DanielHillary Clinton: “I’ll press your flesh, you dimwhitted sumbitch. You don’t tell yourpappywife how to court the electorate. We ain’t one-at-a-timin’ here. We’re mass communicatin’!”
DelmarHoward Wolfson: “I just don’t think it’s right keeping him under wraps like we was ashamed of him.”
EverettHillary Clinton: “Well,if it is Pete,I am ashamed of him. The way I see it, he got what he deserved. Fornicating with some whore of Babylon. These things don,t happen for no reason,DelmarHoward. It’s obviously some kind of judgement onPete’sBill’s character.”
DelmarHoward Wolfson: “Well, the two of us was fixin’ to fornicate.”
Pappy O”DanielHillary Clinton: “We need a shot in the arm. You hear me boys? In the Goddamn arm! Election held tomorrow, that son of bitchStokesObama would win it in a walk!”
Junior O’DanielBill Clinton: “Well’ he’s the reform candidate,Daddyhoney.”
Pappy O”DanielHillary Clinton: “Yeah.”
Junior O’DanielBill Clinton: “A lot of people like that reform. Maybe we should get us some.”
Pappy O”DanielHillary Clinton: “I’ll reform you, you soft-headed son of a bitch. How we gonna run reform when we’re the damn incumbent? Is that the best idea you boys can come up with? Reform?! Weepin’ jesus on the cross. That’s it! You may as well start drafting my concession speach right now.”
Pappy’s StaffHoward Wolfson: “Okay,PappyHillary.”
Pappy O”DanielHillary Clinton: “I’m just making a point you stupid son of a bitch. Give me back that hat! Hurry up!”
Pappy’s StaffHoward Wolfson: “Pappy’sHillary’s just makin’ a point.”
Pappy O”DanielHillary Clinton: “Shut up!”
Homer StokesBarack Obama: “The greatstate of MississippiUSA can not afford four more years ofPappy O’DanielHillary Clinton. Four more years of cronyism! Nepotism! Rascalism! Of service to the interests!”
Pappy’s Staff 1Howard Wolfson: “It’s a problem of…”
Pappy’s Staff 2Mark Penn: “Perception.”
Pappy’s Staff 1Howard Wolfson: “That’s right.”
Pappy’s Staff 2Mark Penn: “The reason he’s pullin’ our pants down.”
Pappy’s Staff 1Howard Wolfson: “Gonna paddle a little behind.”
Pappy’s Staff 2Mark Penn: “Ain’t gonna paddle it. Gonna kick it, real hard.”
Pappy’s Staff 1Howard Wolfson: “No, I believe he’s gonna paddle it.”
Pappy’s Staff 2Mark Penn: “I don’t believe that’s a proper description.”
Pappy’s Staff 1Howard Wolfson: “Well, that’s how I’d characterize it.”
Pappy’s Staff 2Mark Penn: “I believe it’s more of a kickin’ situation.”
Vernon T. WaldripDavid Axelrod: “I can’t switch sides in the middle of a campaign. Especially to work for amanwoman who lacks moral fiber.”
Pappy O’DanielHillary Clinton: “Moral fiber? Why, you little pasty-face sumbitch. I invented moral fiber!Pappy O’DanielHillary Clinton was displaying rectitude and high-mindedness when that egghead you work for was still messing his drawers!”
Pappy O’DanielHillary Clinton: “Yeah, well, you’ll be laughing out the other side of your face come November.”
Pappy’s Staff 2Howard Wolfson: “Pappy O’DanielHillary Clinton will be laughing then.”
Pappy’s Staff 1Mark Penn: “Not out the other side ofhisher face, though.”
Pappy’s Staff 2Howard Wolfson: “Oh, no, no, no. Just the regular side.”
Please note, of course, that none of the above quotes are truly attributed to any real life personages; they are simply a parody on quotes from O Brother Where Art Thou and the perceived actions of people on the campaign trail. In a nutshell, it’s satire.


















