The Mad Critic

The Political Wisdom of O Brother, Where Art Thou? (2000)

Written by The Mad Critic on Monday, March 3rd, 2008
Listed in Movies, The Mad Critic, politics 2008

While I was watching O Brother, Where Art Thou? for the umpteenth time (what can I say, it’s a great movie), I couldn’t help but notice some resemblance between the campaigns of the movie and the campaigns of the 2008 Democratic primaries. In the movie, we have incumbent Governor Menelaus ‘Pappy’ O’Daniel (Charles Durning) against Gubernatorial Candidate Homer Stokes (Wayne Duvall), with Pappy being the hardline conservative and Stokes being the “sweep the state clean” progressive liberal.

In addition, we’ve got the three main characters, Ulysses Everett McGill (George Clooney), Pete (John Turturro), and Delmar O’Donnel (Tim Blake Nelson) as prison escapees, con artists, and adventurers, trying to outrun the devil, make some money, and seek a non-existent treasure.

In the midst of all this, we have some mighty fine quotes, which I’d like to place here, except I’ll be striking out names and placing modern political names instead to show you the similarities.

Ulysses Everett McGill Barack Obama: “Well, all right. If we take off through that bayou…”
Pete Hillary Clinton: “Wait a minute. Who elected you leader of this outfit?”
Everett Barack Obama: “Well, Pete Hillary, I figured it should be the one with the capacity for abstract thought. But if that ain’t the concensus view, then hell, let’s put it to a vote.”
Pete Hillary Clinton: “Suits me! I’m votin’ for yours truly.”
Everett Barack Obama: “Well, I’m votin’ for yours truly, too.”
Delmar John Edwards: “Okay, I’m with you fellas.”

Lawman Wolf Blitzer: “All right, boys.”
Everett John Edwards: “Uhh, how’s my hair?”

Pete Mitt Romney: “Well I’ll be a sonofabitch. Delmar’s Huckabee’s been saved.”
Delmar Mike Huckabee: “Well that’s it, boys. I’ve been redeemed. The preacher’s done warshed away all my sins and transgressions. It’s the straight and narrow from here on out, and heaven everlasting’s my reward.”
Everett John McCain: “Delmar, what are you talking about? We’ve got bigger fish to fry.”
Delmar Mike Huckabee: “The preacher said all my sins is warshed away, including that Piggly Wiggly I knocked over in Yazoo felon’s sentence I commuted for donations.”
Everett John McCain: “I thought you said you was innocent of those charges?”
Delmar Mike Huckabee: “Well I was lyin’. And the preacher said that that sin’s been warshed away too. Neither God nor man’s got nothin’ on me now. C’mon in boys, the water is fine.”

Junior O’Daniel (Del Pentecost) Bill Clinton: “Well, ain’t you gonna press the flesh, Pappy Hillary? Do a little politickin’?”
Pappy O’Daniel Hillary Clinton: “I’ll press your flesh, you dimwhitted sumbitch. You don’t tell your pappy wife how to court the electorate. We ain’t one-at-a-timin’ here. We’re mass communicatin’!”

Delmar Howard Wolfson: “I just don’t think it’s right keeping him under wraps like we was ashamed of him.”
Everett Hillary Clinton: “Well, if it is Pete, I am ashamed of him. The way I see it, he got what he deserved. Fornicating with some whore of Babylon. These things don,t happen for no reason, Delmar Howard. It’s obviously some kind of judgement on Pete’s Bill’s character.”
Delmar Howard Wolfson: “Well, the two of us was fixin’ to fornicate.”

Pappy O”Daniel Hillary Clinton: “We need a shot in the arm. You hear me boys? In the Goddamn arm! Election held tomorrow, that son of bitch Stokes Obama would win it in a walk!”
Junior O’Daniel Bill Clinton: “Well’ he’s the reform candidate, Daddy honey.”
Pappy O”Daniel Hillary Clinton: “Yeah.”
Junior O’Daniel Bill Clinton: “A lot of people like that reform. Maybe we should get us some.”
Pappy O”Daniel Hillary Clinton: “I’ll reform you, you soft-headed son of a bitch. How we gonna run reform when we’re the damn incumbent? Is that the best idea you boys can come up with? Reform?! Weepin’ jesus on the cross. That’s it! You may as well start drafting my concession speach right now.”
Pappy’s Staff Howard Wolfson: “Okay, Pappy Hillary.”
Pappy O”Daniel Hillary Clinton: “I’m just making a point you stupid son of a bitch. Give me back that hat! Hurry up!”
Pappy’s Staff Howard Wolfson: Pappy’s Hillary’s just makin’ a point.”
Pappy O”Daniel Hillary Clinton: “Shut up!”

Homer Stokes Barack Obama: “The great state of Mississippi USA can not afford four more years of Pappy O’Daniel Hillary Clinton. Four more years of cronyism! Nepotism! Rascalism! Of service to the interests!”

Pappy’s Staff 1 Howard Wolfson: “It’s a problem of…”
Pappy’s Staff 2 Mark Penn: “Perception.”
Pappy’s Staff 1 Howard Wolfson: “That’s right.”
Pappy’s Staff 2 Mark Penn: “The reason he’s pullin’ our pants down.”
Pappy’s Staff 1 Howard Wolfson: “Gonna paddle a little behind.”
Pappy’s Staff 2 Mark Penn: “Ain’t gonna paddle it. Gonna kick it, real hard.”
Pappy’s Staff 1 Howard Wolfson: “No, I believe he’s gonna paddle it.”
Pappy’s Staff 2 Mark Penn: “I don’t believe that’s a proper description.”
Pappy’s Staff 1 Howard Wolfson: “Well, that’s how I’d characterize it.”
Pappy’s Staff 2 Mark Penn: “I believe it’s more of a kickin’ situation.”

Vernon T. Waldrip David Axelrod: “I can’t switch sides in the middle of a campaign. Especially to work for a man woman who lacks moral fiber.”
Pappy O’Daniel Hillary Clinton: “Moral fiber? Why, you little pasty-face sumbitch. I invented moral fiber! Pappy O’Daniel Hillary Clinton was displaying rectitude and high-mindedness when that egghead you work for was still messing his drawers!”

Pappy O’Daniel Hillary Clinton: “Yeah, well, you’ll be laughing out the other side of your face come November.”
Pappy’s Staff 2 Howard Wolfson: Pappy O’Daniel Hillary Clinton will be laughing then.”
Pappy’s Staff 1 Mark Penn: “Not out the other side of his her face, though.”
Pappy’s Staff 2 Howard Wolfson: “Oh, no, no, no. Just the regular side.”

Please note, of course, that none of the above quotes are truly attributed to any real life personages; they are simply a parody on quotes from O Brother Where Art Thou and the perceived actions of people on the campaign trail. In a nutshell, it’s satire.

The Mad Critic

The Other Boleyn Girl (2008)

Written by The Mad Critic on Sunday, March 2nd, 2008
Listed in Movies, The Mad Critic
Overall Rating: 
Rating: 1.5

The Other Boleyn Girl is an adaptation of the infamous story of Henry VIII (I am, I am), his betrayal of Catherine of Eragon, and love affairs with Mary and Anne Boleyn. Unfortunately the plot itself is the best part of this movie and that is history, not screenwriting.

Natalie Portman plays Anne Boleyn, an ambitious, catty, and conniving daughter of a desperate man. Her sister Mary is played by Scarlett Johansson, a more innocent, better looking, and simple woman who unfortunately catches the King’s (Eric Bana) interest first. Her highly ambitious family, particularly her father played by Mark Rylance and the Duke of Norfolk played by David Morrissey (quite well actually), decides that she must become mistress to the King and bear him a son in order to lift their family into the good graces of the court. Unfortunately, Anne Boleyn is not happy about this, is exiled to France, and comes back with loads of knowledge regarding the art of backstabbing. She finds her sister nearly ready to give birth to Henry’s heir, and seduces him before the baby arrives.

That’s about a quarter to halfway through the movie. The rest of the movie is spent showing Anne Boleyn trying to get pregnant, a family scheming the sexual use of their daughters in such a way that would make the Womynist froth at the mouth, and a King who can’t decide who to get it on with next. Culminating, of course, in Anne asking her brother to have sex with her after losing the King’s child and their subsequent beheadings.

In the end I thought that Anne Boleyn got what was coming to her. I felt bad for Mary Boleyn due to the betrayals of both the King and her sister. And I felt bad for her brother George (played by Jim Sturgess from Across the Universe), who stood with his sisters the whole time, was asked to do something unthinkable, did not do it, and still lost his head. But then, I knew I would feel this way about them because again, this is history. Somewhat.

I’ll just say it like it is: the movie dragged on. To me it was more like a soap opera than a movie, and seemed to go from scene to scene without resolving or doing much. Each scene felt very predictable, and the passage of time was shown rather badly; years go by between some scenes, yet the characters do not develop at all. Intuition of course tells us that a baby takes months to be born, not minutes, yet the movie makes us feel like it was a one day affair instead of depicting the transition properly.

As a soap opera it was outstanding. As an epic it falls short tremendously. As far as historical movies go it was fair, but mostly because the plotline is a no-brainer: sex, lies, beheadings. How can one go wrong?

Mr. Kriticle

Barack Obama Swipes Hillary’s Inevitability

Written by Mr. Kriticle on Saturday, March 1st, 2008
Listed in politics 2008

This article, I think, highlights the largest problem facing the Hillary Clinton campaign right now: she doesn’t want to let go of what she considers to be “her turn.” When Hillary Clinton announced that she was running for president, it was widely speculated that she would be the candidate to win the primary vote. Really, no one could have imagined that a relatively new Senator could have possibly given her a run for her money.

Unfortunately, and to Hillary Clinton’s great regret, those pundits were wrong. And now she finds herself in a neck and neck race so drawn out, so intense, and most of all so unpredictable, that her campaign is finding it hard handling the heat.

Her campaign has struggled greatly with its own identity. While Barack Obama has built his campaign around the concepts of hope, idealism, and ending a war that never should have been waged, Hillary has not yet found her niche. At first, she was experienced. Then, she wanted change too. Now, she’s a freedom fighter, sob story, whiner, preacher of sarcasm, and burster of hopebubbles. After all that her campaign has been through, they still can’t get away from the central theme of “I am Hillary, hear me roar.”

In the end, it all boils down to her disappointment at her stolen inevitability. Hillary Clinton believed that it was her turn. That no one would stop her in a race for the White House, and that she would be able to go back to that hallowed home and once again take up the seat of power (with Bill, of course). They are a family of politics, one that has been through its ups and downs, but has never let go of their big goal: to spend as much time in seats of power as possible. And now, that dream is at risk.

This, perhaps, has been the greatest contrast between the two candidates. On the one hand, you have Barack Obama, champion of the people, hopemonger, dreamer, a man with a dream that encompasses the entire nation. On the other, you have Hillary Clinton, multi-faced, champion of the Clinton, and a woman with a dream that encompasses her and Bill, and damned be anyone who stands in her way.

Mr. Kriticle

Hillary Clinton Chooses Money over Integrity

Written by Mr. Kriticle on Saturday, March 1st, 2008
Listed in politics 2008

Imagine for a moment a company with a disbarred lawyer as the CEO, one who has a criminal record. Add to that the fact that the federal government is accusing this company, International Profit Associates (IPA), of sexual assault, innuendo, and anti-female language, with claims from the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC) of 103 female victims.

Now imagine you are Hillary Clinton, and you have just received $170,000 in donations from such a company. Would you take it?

Apparently for Hillary Clinton, the answer is yes.  This is yet another case of greed over integrity, and a complete lack of proper judgment on the part of Hillary Clinton’s campaign. Yes, the case the EEOC calls one of the worst it has ever seen is still ongoing, with IPA furiously denying any of its 103 allegations, but it is still a company with very shady dealings. How can Hillary Clinton continue to smear the Barack Obama campaign with unsubstantiated attacks while she rakes in not just endorsements, but MONEY from contributors such as this?

The answer is simple: desperation. Why else would she accept money from a company accused of horrible behavior against women now, when she would not accept Norman Hsu’s donations due to allegations alone? Hillary knows she is on a downhill slope, with supporters dropping off every day. Eleven straight victories by Barack Obama have helped, as well as several smear attempts by Hillary Clinton backfiring. Then again, there’s also the many faces of Hillary, where she decided to try a kitchen sink tactic and act like five different candidates in just five days. Now, the only question is, when will she face the music and step down, allowing the Democratic party to begin the real fight of the year?

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